How to Have a Divine Feminine February
I’ve found that February is a very polarizing month.
For some it can feel exciting and romantic and for others it can feel extremely lonely and isolating.
For many years, I experienced February as a single woman. And for many of those years, it was hard.
I was secretly jealous of my friends who had boyfriends or husbands who would send them flowers or surprise them with gifts or trips and I would come home to…nothing.
But somewhere around the time I turned 30, I decided to do things differently.
I decided that I wasn’t going to wait on love to experience romance and instead I’d romance myself.
Even now that I’m married, I still deeply believe in cultivating a deep relationship with yourself and one way to experience this more deeply is to connect with the Divine Feminine.
So today, I’m sharing some of my favorite practices and rituals that will help you invoke more Divine Feminine energy into your life.
Tip #1: Divine Feminine Ambiance
If you’ve been around my work for some time, then you know that I am all about the Divine Feminine.
For me, this means connecting with and activating the deeper archetypal goddess energies that reside within us.
The realm of the Goddess is more than just an ethereal or metaphysical concept, it’s something that can be brought into our everyday lives.
And one of the easiest ways to do this is through Beauty.
The energy of the Divine Feminine lives for Beauty. She understands how the aesthetic of a room can instantly change the mood.
I used to be notoriously terrible at this.
I didn’t decorate my offices at work, I was slow (or rather, lackadaisical) about decorating dorm rooms, apartments, etc.
In fact, it wasn’t until I started putting more effort into ambiance that I realized what a profound difference it made in so many aspects of my life:
Adding light dimmers, using soft bulbs, and hanging up some twinkle lights created an enchanting feeling that soothed my nervous system and decreased my stress.
A few well-placed pieces of art and some decorative ornaments on tables and bookshelves made me feel put-together.
Diffusing high quality essential oils or making my own simmer pots brought in the power of scent and instantly changed my mood.
There is immense power in ambiance.
This February, take inventory of the space you call home.
How does it make you feel? Does it feel inspiring, soothing, or enchanting? Or does it enhance the chaos and clutter of your mind?
And before you think I’m suggesting you spend all your savings on a big redecorating project, think again.
Sometimes it’s the simplest changes that can make a difference, like putting more effort into cleaning and organizing, changing the positioning of. the furniture in a room, or committing to buying yourself some fresh flowers every week (P.S. Trader Joe’s flowers last the longest.)
Tip #2: All the Silky Fabrics
Connecting to your senses is one of the fastest ways to activate the Divine Feminine and one of my favorite ways to do this is through all the silky, slinky fabrics.
Years before I met my husband, I started buying myself silky clothing that connected me more deeply to my sensuality.
We’re talking lacy, silky nighties and luscious, buttery robes. Just the feel of that silk on my skin instantly changed my mood and connected me more to my sensual, feminine self.
(It’s really hard to feel edgy or angry or bitter when you’re wearing silk…)
For years, every Saturday morning I’d put on my favorite black robe with gold flowers, brew a cup of coffee, and play one of my favorite songs from the movie Chocolat while sitting on my balcony.
Simple. Easy. And years later I can still access that. feeling of peace and calm just from the memory.
This month, try playing around with the types of fabrics you wear.
Notice what happens to your mood and the state of your nervous system when you wear synthetic fibers versus natural ones.
Notice whether your body prefers linen to cotton to silk.
Notice how it feels to treat yourself to a silky, slinky something that’s just for you and watch what kind of magic it infuses into your life.
Tip #3: Divine Feminine Bathing Rituals
Ever since I was little, I’ve had an obsession/fascination with spas, bathing rituals, and beauty products.
I spent countless hours researching the best spas in the world, exotic treatments like mud wraps and shirodharas, and learning everything I could about skincare, makeup, and bath products.
The obsession never ended, but it did get more sophisticated over time.
Instead of the multi-colored products with artificial fragrances, hormone disrupting chemicals, and unhealthy colored dyes that used to grace my bathroom cabinets, I now focus on high quality, hormone-friendly, non-toxic skincare that still creates an indulgent bathing experience.
Just as the Divine Feminine loves beauty in our atmosphere, she loves being activated through touch.
If you don’t already have a bathing ritual, I strongly recommend developing one.
For me, baths are such a significant part of my self-care routine because nowhere does my nervous system relax more deeply than in or near water.
I typically keep my baths pretty simple and I only add new products when I have vetted them thoroughly for quality.
Here is a sample of my favorite routine:
Dry brushing before a bath (stimulates the lymphatic system and great for exfoliation)
Plain Epsom Salts
doTerra’s Adaptiv Bath Oil Blend or a few drops doTerra essential oils (typically Serenity, Lavender, Balance, or Copaiba)
Just Ingredients Body Lotion or Primally Pure Body Butter afterwards (this one legit smells like an almond cookie and melts onto your skin)
I never use my phone while in the tub and 9/10 times you can find me reading some kind of book on the Divine Feminine.
Tip #4: Connect With Your Inner Aphrodite
If you haven’t yet discovered the power of working with archetypes, then you are in for a treat.
Archetypes are patterns that exist in the collective unconscious. Goddess archetypes represent specific divine energies that are present and either active or inactive in any given woman.
One of my favorite archetypes (or energies) to play with is that of Aphrodite.
While many know her as the Greek Goddess of Love and Beauty, few know that she comes from a long line of other goddesses that begins with the Ancient Sumerian Goddess Inanna.
Inanna was worshipped as the primary goddess, with love, beauty, and fertility being at the forefront of her power.
Her lineage is rich with many other powerful goddesses and historical figures, including the Ancient Egyptian Goddess Isis, the Ancient Greek Goddess Aphrodite (and her Roman counterpart Venus), and even Mary Magdalene.
But today we are going to focus on Aphrodite.
Aphrodite is our sensual, sexual, flirty, playful, creative, and sometimes erotic energy.
As described by Jungian Psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen, she is the Alchemical Goddess with the unique power to transform and create.
I see Aphrodite as energetic Cinnamon that can enliven any situation that she is a part of. She can create beauty, delight, and love out of nothing.
For women who are busy climbing the corporate ladder and who spend too much time in their heads, or for women who feel stuck in their roles as wife or mother, activating your Inner Aphrodite can help you feel alive again.
Here are some ways to call upon Aphrodite’s energy:
Let yourself play with flirty energy. If you’re in a relationship, flirt more with your partner. Remember what it was like when you first met and every kiss, every touch, every stolen glance was special and spicy.
Bring more play into your everyday life.
Awaken Aphrodite with vibrant, rich reds. Red lipstick, red clothing, red accessories, even red sheets. Notice how the frequency of this color affects your energy.
Change into one of those silky garments we talked about when you get home from work.
Make art! Whether it’s an adult coloring book, crocheting, crafting, scrapbooking, or painting, the act of creation awakens Aphrodite energy.
Tip #5: Allow Yourself to Receive
One of the most detrimental effects of the Strong, Independent Woman movement is how much it has challenged women’s ability to receive.
So many of us grew up being taught that we “can do anything a man can” and we “shouldn’t rely on men for anything.”
What I’ve noticed is that this mindset has raised a generation of women who also wonder, “Where have all the good men gone?”
I’ll admit that this was my story.
For years I clung to my identity as a strong, independent woman and also participated in the narrative that there are no good men left.
It wasn’t until I started to learn about polarity principles that I realized the problem wasn’t men, it was me spending too much time in my masculine energy the problem is that energetically, I was too much in my masculine to allow or attract a healthy man into my world.
I’ve noticed that the women who are offended when a man offers to help them carry something heavy or hold the door open also tend to be the ones who wonder why they can’t attract healthy, committed masculine men.
So whether you’re single or in a relationship, I want you to be honest with yourself: How well do you receive?
Can you let yourself be taken care of (even in the smallest of ways) or do you feel you have to do it all yourself?
Can you let him open the door, carry the heavy things, or take care of you for an evening?
Not because you couldn’t do it yourself, but because playing in your feminine energy means being able to consciously step back and allow someone else to do it for you just because they want to.